I wish I had more to say today, but I honestly don’t. Also, because it’s a Sunday, I am also trying to take this day to intentionally rest and reflect, give thanks, and chill. That said, training has been coming along nicely though, but it is admittedly fatiguing and demanding in ways that I didn’t originally anticipate, both physically and mentally. Every day I feel slow, weak, uncoordinated, and under-prepared. My mind keeps finding more and more things that I need to fix and get better at, weak points I need to plug, areas I need to improve upon, etc. as I see that my time for preparation is soon running out, and game-day fast approaches. On account of this, I now find my body beginning to ever-so-subtly vacillate between low-level moments of extreme tenacity and aggression, nervousness and anxiety, and calm and placid detachment, as the idea of the fight begins to take more and more shape, precedence, and clarity in my mind. Something deep inside is being primed.
I actually like that this is beginning to happen though.
In fact, I see it as a good and natural response that my brain and nervous system are functioning correctly, and are beginning to prime themselves in anticipation for the challenge that awaits. Indeed, prior to every sporting event in high school, and later on in the military when I was about to do an airborne jump or run patrols in Iraq, my brain and body would begin priming itself in this very way; first as a low-fidelity hum in the background of my thoughts and body, then growing more and more loudly and intensely as the moment of decision finally approached. So, this is nothing really new.
This isn’t the case for everyone, however.
UFC Hall of Famer, Chuck Liddell, for instance, was nick-named ‘The Iceman’, precisely because of his atypical super-calm and composed demeanor before even the most dangerous of opponents and in the most high-stakes of fights. Conversely, UFC Hall of Famer, George St. Pierre, in interviews, has noted how he always felt extremely nervous and afraid before every fight and how this sense of heightened nervousness actually helped him to perform at his best.[1]
I’d say I’m much more on the GSP side of the scale, both in terms of physiological response and philosophy. I’d much rather feel anxious before a fight than feel completely numb.
Indeed, at the end of the day, I’d rather feel intensely uncomfortable than feel nothing at all …both in fighting, and in life.
[1]https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=637001850258794
The last line. Epic! If only more people felt this way, we might not have this epidemic of so many of us numbing our feelings with drugs (pharmaceutical, licit or illicit).